Female Sexuality

Apr 11, 2007

Got your attention, didn’t I? As you might expect, I have opinions about this topic, which I will share a few of with you. Are you ready to take a ride with me? Hang on to your seats!

P.F. KozakI am fifty-two years old and my libido shows no signs of slowing down. In fact, quite the contrary. As I get older, I seem to be more juiced up than ever (so to speak!). I am well past the tittering insecurities of my younger years. At this point of my life, I am comfortable with who I am, professionally, personally and sexually. Oh, and that is a recent picture of me, if you’re wondering. It was taken at a Passion book signing.

Women are sexual beings. We all know that. But to find a healthy outlet for our sexual urges can be a challenge. We have jobs, families and responsibilities, all of which often move to the head of the line when it comes to parsing out our time. If we are lucky, we have a husband or a significant other who are inclined to partake of the nectar we have to offer. But what if we don’t? Or what if the feelings are so personal we keep them to ourselves? Or what if we just don’t have the time to indulge in a romantic evening with our partners? What happens to our sexuality then?

It is still there, in spades! But it is up to us to slow down, take a deep breath and allow ourselves the space to express it. I have found incredible sexual freedom in my writing. My work provides a safe outlet for all the feelings that would otherwise stay bottled up inside of me. With the current popularity of erotic romance, I suspect many women find themselves on the other side of the fence. Reading erotic romance also provides a way to open the steam valve and relieve the pressure. It is private, it is safe and it is enormously satisfying to escape into someone else’s life.

Then there is my website ( http://www.pfkozak.com/ ). I designed my website to reflect my personal taste in erotica. But I also designed it as a place for women to go to relax, listen to some soft jazz and enjoy pictures of men. It is a place to show my work, but more than anything, it is a place for women to be sexual.

 The background pictures and the music were handpicked by me, and a superb web design firm in the Philippines (8292 Media) did the layout and the flash intro. But the centerpiece of the website are photographs by Za-Hazzanani, which are used in the flash intro and on a special page dedicated only to her. She takes erotic photographs of men. I figured if I liked looking at them, so would other women.

It is interesting how I came to know Za-Hazzanani. I have been a fan of hers for many years, having bought her book, her calendars, her greeting cards. Anything Za-Hazzanani that I could get my hands on became mine. I adore hairy men, so much so it is nearly a fetish! This Za-Hazzanani photograph hangs in my bedroom. It is called Hairy Man, for obvious reasons. It is so popular it has been on posters, greeting cards, postcards and calendars. It seems I’m not the only one who enjoys hairy men.

Hairy Man

I wanted to use some of her pictures on my website. I found a phone number on the Internet which I called, thinking I would get a secretary or an answering service. Za-Hazzanani answered the phone !!! Since then, we’ve had some marvelous conversations, the result of which you see on my website. It is a ground breaking example of what is possible!

Even though the gay community discovered Za-Hazzanani’s photography years ago, she is largely unknown to women. But her pictures of men are meant for women. She believes, as I do, that women respond to attractive men in sensual poses the same way men do women.

For too long, women have been told men respond to visual stimulus, and that women are more cerebral. Bull dookie! Yes, we’re cerebral, but we also enjoy, and are excited by, an attractive man in the nude, or sensual pictures of men and women making love. I have both on my website.

If you read Za-Hazzanani’s interview posted on my website, you will see true emancipation. Whereas, most women haven’t been given the opportunity to explore these sensual feelings inside ourselves, Za-Hazzanani has made it her lifestyle.

These are a couple of personal examples of how I express my sexuality. There are many ways women can explore sexual feelings. Yes, it is a personal topic, and yes, for a long time it has been a taboo subject. But, the winds are shifting.

We must first be honest enough to admit the feelings exist, and then courageous enough to explore them individually. If we take responsibility for our own sexuality, and honor those feelings, we will be happier and healthier women.  


P.F. Kozak - http://www.pfkozak.com/

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  1. PF I have read your books and love them. And thank you for you post about Women’s Sexuality, as a 45 yr old who’s libdo I have finally starting writting myself.
    Again Thank You

    CJ Carrington

    — CJ Carrington    Feb 14, 04:23 PM   

  2. Starting again at fifty… My husband has passed away six months ago and in all the grief workshops etc… there has never been any talk about sexuality and what to do about that missing component in my life. I do not feel any guilt about my needs only where to start or go! Any ideas with respect to websites or links would be appreciated. Cheers, Deb

    — Deb Farquhar    Sep 21, 01:12 PM   

  3. looking for classt man and women posters

    — rikki ciancio    Aug 25, 12:30 AM